Those

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Today was one of those days... 

One of those days when I stood perched on the edge of sanity, ready to fall over the edge at any moment.  The deep chasm between the flat, beautiful, even meadows of peacefulness, joy and stability seemed as if they were a universe away from the pit of anxiety, uneasiness and despair into which I was staring ever-so-precariously.

I longed for a precious wave of calm to sweep over me.  But it never did.

I longed for the sweet release of the tension and irritation that gripped my soul.  But it never arrived.

I longed for something fabulous to happen which would whisk me away from the ridiculous state in which I found myself trapped for 18 unending hours.

Every email that entered my in-box made me grit my teeth in frustration.  Each phone call that came through was filled with obnoxious problems that I could not solve.  Every conversation provoked a loss for words, my tongue tied in new depths of fantastic furiousness.

Yes, that's right, today was one of those days.  What is it about days like this that just drive me crazy?  The brink of insanity is not a fun place to be.  Feeling as if a complete mental and emotional breakdown could intrude onto my usual 'peaceful' life is totally unsettling.  That nagging feeling in the back of my brain that something is undone or not complete or as yet unfinished is not something I can live with.

Deep breath.  Deep breath.  Head in hands.  Pulling hair out.  Deep breath.  Long sigh.  Fists clenched.  Shrieks of unbelief.  Breathing in; breathing out.  Deliberate.  Slow.

Oh how I long to return to 'normalcy'.  Oh the sweet peace that will hopefully return in the morning.  Will tomorrow bring with it a fresh sense of daisies-in-a-field type relief?  

Today was one of those days.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

~lk



Comments

Lisa said…
Praying for a better day. Press on my dear friend. Here's a big hug headed your way. :)
8:30 PM
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