The Ultimate Diet
I am the world's worst dieter...
Or, I suppose I could put that in a positive way: I am the world's BEST eater!
Consequently, I am, like many other women I know, in a constant battle with my weight... Trying to lose it... Get rid of it... Shed it... Burn it... Forever.
Agreed, it is a societal problem and there are body issue topics we could talk about and about which you could endlessly chastise me... We can do that another time...
Because today I have found the secret to staying thin.... And it's a little bit of wisdom I found during my hours of addictive watching of Lorelai and Rory... The Gilmore Girls.
How do they stay so thin? They don't ever actually ever eat a meal.
(Yes, yes, I realize they are fictional television characters to which I should not compare myself... But just bear with me for a little levity, OK??)
The Gilmore Girls never actually eat the enormous amount of food they buy, order, prepare, arrange, "cook", or accumulate.
They wake up late in the morning and despite the fact that they intend to eat a giant bowl of sugar cereal with marshmallows and M&Ms, or waffles and chocolate sauce (and marshmallows and M&Ms), they take one bite but have to rush out the door with only a cup of black coffee in hand.
They go to Luke's Diner and order giant burgers and chili fries and cherry pie with ice cream... but see someone outside they have to talk and leave before they can take a single bite... Or wax philosophical due to some romantic crisis they've encountered throughout the day and are too depressed once the food comes to actually eat their meal.
They go to Richard and Emily's house for the infamous Friday Night Dinners and are served rich, luxurious, creamy gourmet foods in multiple courses from drinks to appetizers to desserts, but end up in a knock-down-drag-out fight in the middle of the evening and storm out before the salad course hits the table.
They emerge from Doose's Market with a giant Nachos and slurpees and movie candy and sodas enough to feed a dozen people with every intention of gorging themselves in a massive calorie-fest, only to have Christopher or some other friend to call with a problem which they must rush off to solve...food left uneaten.
The Gilmore Girls. They love their food, but they never actually get to eat it. It's the ultimate diet. Instead of "emotional eating" it's "emotional uneating"! Size 4 jeans in tact, no exercise required.
The Ultimate Diet indeed. Too bad it's fiction, make believe and completely unreal.
Til then we will continue eating, stay on our treadmills, while all the time buying purses and coffee and wishing that Rory and Jess would have stayed together forever.
~lk
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Or, I suppose I could put that in a positive way: I am the world's BEST eater!
Consequently, I am, like many other women I know, in a constant battle with my weight... Trying to lose it... Get rid of it... Shed it... Burn it... Forever.
Agreed, it is a societal problem and there are body issue topics we could talk about and about which you could endlessly chastise me... We can do that another time...
Because today I have found the secret to staying thin.... And it's a little bit of wisdom I found during my hours of addictive watching of Lorelai and Rory... The Gilmore Girls.
How do they stay so thin? They don't ever actually ever eat a meal.
(Yes, yes, I realize they are fictional television characters to which I should not compare myself... But just bear with me for a little levity, OK??)
The Gilmore Girls never actually eat the enormous amount of food they buy, order, prepare, arrange, "cook", or accumulate.
They wake up late in the morning and despite the fact that they intend to eat a giant bowl of sugar cereal with marshmallows and M&Ms, or waffles and chocolate sauce (and marshmallows and M&Ms), they take one bite but have to rush out the door with only a cup of black coffee in hand.
They go to Luke's Diner and order giant burgers and chili fries and cherry pie with ice cream... but see someone outside they have to talk and leave before they can take a single bite... Or wax philosophical due to some romantic crisis they've encountered throughout the day and are too depressed once the food comes to actually eat their meal.
They go to Richard and Emily's house for the infamous Friday Night Dinners and are served rich, luxurious, creamy gourmet foods in multiple courses from drinks to appetizers to desserts, but end up in a knock-down-drag-out fight in the middle of the evening and storm out before the salad course hits the table.
They emerge from Doose's Market with a giant Nachos and slurpees and movie candy and sodas enough to feed a dozen people with every intention of gorging themselves in a massive calorie-fest, only to have Christopher or some other friend to call with a problem which they must rush off to solve...food left uneaten.
The Gilmore Girls. They love their food, but they never actually get to eat it. It's the ultimate diet. Instead of "emotional eating" it's "emotional uneating"! Size 4 jeans in tact, no exercise required.
The Ultimate Diet indeed. Too bad it's fiction, make believe and completely unreal.
Til then we will continue eating, stay on our treadmills, while all the time buying purses and coffee and wishing that Rory and Jess would have stayed together forever.
~lk
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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